Today I saw a little black girl. Or so I think… She was struggling to move under her own power. She was struggling to move under the weight of a headful of weave.

A fake ponytail to be exact. I wondered how many horses had to suffer just so that her mom could convince herself that somehow the weave would help her Dear Daughter’s appearance. You see, this little girl had severe traction alopecia around her ‘edges’. To put it in simple terms, she had severe hair loss. We’ve all seen people with this and we think ‘Boy, does she have a disease? Why is her hair falling out?’

I’m not a medical doctor, but I can give you the diagnosis, the prognosis, and the cure.

Diagnosis: Mom thought it would be ‘easier’ to perm Dear Daughter’s hair. The perm started to destroy Dear Daughter’s hair. Mom decided to sacrifice every horse on Old MacDonald’s farm to stick one ponytail to the top of Dear Daughter’s head to make her ‘pretty’.

Prognosis: Dear Daughter’s hair will continue to fall out until God’s Kingdom come. Mom will ignore this and simply pretend that Dear Daughter’s hair is just fine and that it will grow back eventually. Mom will think ‘Maybe I can get Dear Daughter a braided ponytail so that it look more natural than the Bone Straight Surprise she has now’.

The Cure: Just keep Dear Daughter’s hair nappy. Nappy and healthy.

In other words ‘If if ain’t broke…’.

– Nappy Kitchen

Definitions courtesy of Merriam Webster:

Prognosis: the prospect of recovery as anticipated from the usual course of disease.
Diagnosis: the art or act of identifying a disease from its signs and symptoms.
Cure: spiritual charge; recovery or relief from a disease.